A Sampling of Musings From the World of Real Estate
Opinion Advocates for ideas and draws conclusions based on the author/producer’s interpretation of facts and data.
This week I reprise some musings based on both practical and absurd observations made for past Home Guru columns.
By Bill Primavera
Do realtors ever retire? One thing I’ll say for the real estate business – you can practice it until your dying day. No age discrimination here.
When I first got into the business, there was a wonderful woman in our agency who was in her early 90s and still practicing. She could no longer climb stairs, so she would list and show only one-story houses or one-level condos. That was no problem for her; in fact, clients seem to prefer realtors who look like they have some mileage on them, believing that extensive experience is a benefit.
On the subject of age…There is a common observation that realtors all have photos taken for our business cards when we start and never change it as we age. I confess I am guilty of this, perhaps in the self-deceptive belief that I haven’t physically changed all that much. But many times, a realtor is approached for representation before she or he meets a client, and there can be a surprised look on the customer’s face when that meeting takes place in real time.
Noise. No man is an island, but there were a couple of occasions, especially when I lived in an apartment building that was not well-insulated for sound, when I wished I were. Noise is the biggest complaint we have about neighbors. According to a survey by Trulia, 67 percent of us like our neighbors.
What has happened to the American front porch? Blame the advent of television and computers that keep people inside. The society that created the need to socialize with neighbors and passersby on the street has vanished. Those who still build front porches are expressing a longing for the way things used to be, understandable in today’s fast-paced world.
If you have a front porch, paint the ceiling blue. The theory here is that the insects are fooled into thinking the blue paint is actually the sky where they can’t nest. In the old South, folks believed the sky color warded off evil spirits. In any event, blue is a calming color, so using it to paint a ceiling in any area intended for relaxation makes sense. You can simply enjoy that rocking chair or chaise lounge and not give a second thought to any nasty spirits lurking around.
He’s boiling, she’s freezing: What to do? Men have more insulating muscle than women do, so sometimes people living in the same household have a hard time agreeing on a room temperature. To the rescue are the home heating/air conditioning systems with several zones. But what about in a shared bedroom? An electric blanket with two controls is the answer.
Why is there an elongated toilet? The design of the elongated toilet bowl surely was designed to accommodate the male anatomy. Trading up from a circular bowl to an elongated one is for a guy like going from jockeys to boxer shorts.
Not to belabor points about the toilet…While we would all agree that it’s the gentlemanly thing for guys to return the toilet seat to the down position out of courtesy to the women of the household, most times the practice requires reminders. However, we should all engage in the practice of also lowering the lid before we flush in that it prohibits the spray of bacteria into the air and onto surfaces around the toilet.
A bathroom practice I’ve never understood. I’ve always wondered about the idea of placing a basket of magazines or books on the tank or next to the toilet. It seems to me that anyone who has to sit long enough to read a magazine article waiting for that final stage of peristalsis to take place should be thinking about visiting a gastroenterologist.
Of death and taxes. We’ve all heard the expression that the only certainties in life are death and taxes. While we can’t do anything about the inevitability of death, we can try to negotiate property taxes by grieving them. If a tax grievance is in your future, I wish you good luck. If somehow you manage to negotiate the inevitability of death, write and let me know how you did it.
A mattress tale. My wife tells a cute story about mattresses. When she took her 88-year-old mother to buy a new mattress and the salesman noted that it came with a 20-year guarantee, her mother said, “At my age, I only need a five-year guarantee. Can I get a better price for that?”
Too much shorthand in real estate! If you’re buying or selling a house, you’ve certainly encountered such abbreviations as FSBO (for sale by owner), AO (accepted offer), CMA (comparative market analysis), EIK (eat-in kitchen), SLD (sliding glass doors), etc. Sometimes it seems that our whole world, especially with texting, has gone too far into shorthand.
When making an admittedly low-ball offer on a house and told that the listing agent would “follow up” after speaking with her clients, you can imagine how startled I was with her return e-mail when the subject line was abbreviated simply to “FU!”
Bill Primavera is a realtor associated with William Raveis Real Estate and founder of Primavera Public Relations, Inc. (www.PrimaveraPR.com). To engage the services of The Home Guru to market your home for sale, call 914-522-2076.
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