2011 Yankees Primed After Blockbuster Offseason
Brian Cashman is crazy. Like a fox!
Falsely maligned by fans and media blowhards alike after failing to acquire Sandy Koufax, aka Cliff Lee, during the offseason, the general manager of the New York Yankees actually executed his strategic roster vision to perfection. But, since no one’s been able to get inside Cashman’s head to know exactly what he was thinking, the criticism has been somewhat understandable. Until now.
Conventional wisdom suggests the Yankees are in a wee spot of trouble, what with the team’s $200 million payroll and Two and a Half Men pitching rotation. Rumor has it Charlie Sheen himself was actually under consideration for rotation slot at one point, but with A.J. Burnett already established as the franchise’s “Wild Thing,” the Yankees passed.
Which brings us back, sort of, to the point: Cashman’s plan.
You see, unbeknownst to league outsiders, the late George Steinbrenner managed to squirrel away just enough “Evil Empire Bucks” prior to his death to fund the research, development and production of the world’s first fully functional time machine. Housed deep within the bowels of Yankee Stadium, the device is exclusively controlled by Cashman. And control he has wielded.
Rather than fret over his failure to lure Lee to New York, the wily Cashman quickly realized the Yankee Plan B wouldn’t involve trading highly-touted farmhands for established veterans or overpaying for mediocre or unreliable free agents. No, instead he would go on an Excellent Adventure of his own, traveling back in time to collect the best and brightest of early-t0-mid-nineties talent.
Sound’s crazy, huh? Maybe so, but there’s no other explanation. And there’s certainly no finer prism through which to view the Yankees’ offseason roster “makeover.” In fact, if this were 2005, the Yankees would undoubtedly have the greatest team in the history of professional sports.
Shall we?
2005 Bartolo Colon is a Yankee? Stupendous! The reigning Cy Young Award winner, Colon went 21-8 for the Angels last year, and posted a stellar 3.48 ERA and 1.16 WHIP. Sure, his weight has sometimes been an issue, but when it comes to his upper-90’s fastball, “more cushin’ for the pushing'” has never been more apropos. Colon should do quite well as the #3 starter.
2003 Mark Prior is coming to Bronx? Incredible! Originally drafted by the Yankees in the 1998 amateur draft, Prior’s first two MLB seasons were nothing short of amazing. In fact, last season for the Cubs, he went 18-6 with a 2.43 ERA and 245 strikeouts. He’ll surely slot in as the staff ace. Cooperstown beckons.
2001 Freddy Garcia is wearing pinstripes? Hooray! Cashman must really see something in pitchers that go 18-6. Not merely a proven winner in Seattle, Garcia tossed four complete games last season, three of them shutouts! Phil Hughes better not get too comfy in the rotation.
2001 Eric Chavez is here, too? Fantastic! With 32 jacks and 114 RBI for Oakland last season, who needs A-Rod? Not just a superior offensive player, Chavez also brings top-notch defense to the hot corner. Plus, he’s got great hair.
2005 Andruw Jones is manning CF in the Bronx? Amazing! It’s not everyday that Gold Glove center fielders hit 51HRs and magically appear as if from nowhere. But Cashman ‘s a real genius, a baseball savant, if you will. Heck, with a .922 OPS last season, you can bet on Jones hitting cleanup for the Yankees and pushing Rodriguez down in the order.
So take off those rose colored glasses, Yankee fans, you won’t need them this year.
Now that you have an insider’s perspective on Cashman’s strategy, you can make your plans to witness the parade down the Canyon of Heroes well in advance. Heck, it may be 2011, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t party like it’s 199_.
The Payoff Pitch brings you Jamie O’Grady’s distinct take on New York and national sports every Monday. Having previously worked as a Contributing Writer for MLB.com., Jamie is also a practicing lawyer and an unapologetic Yankees, Knicks and Giants fan. He lives in Mount Kisco with his wife, Sarah, and son, Jack.
Follow Jamie on Twitter: @BronXoo
Adam has worked in the local news industry for the past two decades in Westchester County and the broader Hudson Valley. Read more from Adam’s author bio here.